It has been a very long time since anyone has spoken truth into my life. “Slow down,” she said. “Stop trying to cope by staying busy. You are ignoring what’s important.” She said, “I love you. I don’t want you to be in pain. You know what to do.”
And I do.
Yet, and yet, when I woke up this morning it was with a feeling of loss, that I was being punished and told, no, you can’t have that shiny new website you have been working towards for two months. You have stop, now, and get your diet and exercise under control. (And gawd knows when that will be, if ever?)
This is a story. A terrible, made up story designed to keep me locked in my lonely, painful tiny world.
Today, working on the website comes after I meditate and do some exercise. It comes after I do the grocery shopping for the healthy food I need to cook and eat. And someone loves me. That is all.
That is all?
That is everything.