Neurotic: Someone who doesn’t accept reality.

That’s the definition Cathy Zielske gave us this month.And, I think it fits me, this month.

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Stats

Oct 2:

  • Weight: 262.2 (-6.4 lbs)
  • Waist: 48″ (-2″)
  • Hips: 56″ (-2″)

Nov 2:

  • Weight: 257.6 (-4.6 lbs) (-11 lbs)
  • Waist: 47″ (-1″) (-3″)
  • Hips: 55″ (-1″) (-3″)

 

See that? I actually lost weight. I did. The pounds are decreasing. I am actually losing weight. But, am I happy? Am I jumping for joy?

No.

But I should be. I’ve lost weight quickly before. I’d lose the weight twice as fast–and, after about four months (or forty pounds lost) I would crash, so hard.

After losing forty or fifty pounds,a switch would flip and I would begin to eat like a starving person…..and eat lots of calorie dense, nutritionally poor food until I’d gain back all the weight lost and more. It wouldn’t take long. I’ve records that show I could gain about a pound a day. I remember. I was totally out of control. A binge-fest, every day, for two months.

Let’s hope that never, ever, happens again.

So, maybe this slow, tortoise like approach is a good thing. Every time I am tempted to go paleo or try something like intermittent fasting, I have to remind myself: I am not willing to eat in any way I cannot sustain.

So, slow it is. For now, anyway. Reality can be a hard, hard thing to accept.

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PS: I was going to write more but this has been sitting in the queue for 10 days. Time to hit publish!

PPS: I have lost a bit more since the above weigh-in, so I am trending in the right direction and definitely feeling more cheerful.

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